I Found Myself In Wonderland.

'If all the thoughts were put into words, 

then will the words be put into thoughts?'

So I was inspired to write a post after all the thoughts that came flooding into my head last night. I've found a New Year resolution I would want to stick with. This year I would like to blog with more words and more thoughts, be more honest and open towards things, and.. slowly venture into "portrait and expressive photography" BUT I guess I rather be #foreveralone with my self-timer.

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These recent days I couldn't fall asleep due to my cough, which left me hours of random self-reflection. As the 2011 year passes, it seems that I'm slowly losing my "muchness". I wonder what happened to the "me, the one and only", and much to my dismay I am beginning to turn out to be those "she's just one of them" but... I'm going to put a stop to that now.

The beauty of words by such a creative writer, all string into sentences which made me fall deeper with every paragraph as I read. I'm certain that in the future, I'll come back and read these inspiring words again.

"That’s right! You are a chosen maiden, a born aristocratic maiden. I understand you well. You’re a daydreamer and a visionary who is here in body, but not in spirit. You’re shy, willful, and don’t want to be like others. You like reading by yourself rather than partying with friends. You love pretty things and want to live surrounded by only the things you like. Isn’t that right?"

"But girls with a highly developed sense of beauty are intelligent. Have you realized that behind the fluffy cuteness lies hidden a well-honed sword, the blade of which shines brightly? That’s right. After all, you already know, don’t you? That this world does not consist of only beautiful things? That somewhere there lurks malice that intends to do you harm? That roses have thorns so that they may remain sublime? And that sometimes, you must fight to protect that which is dear to you?"

My Own Dream Of Childhood

"You are a noble being that no one may touch, you are cute and yet tragic. Yes, the ideal aristocratic maiden, in my imagination, is very much like you.
There are often maidens who say, “But I’m not cute, so…” you know, though, that there’s no such thing as a maiden who is not cute. It’s just that there are those maidens who don’t have enough confidence. However, modesty is a virtue, and those maidens won’t become the kind of shameless women who are not mindful of their appearance. That’s why I think not having confidence is a step towards beauty, too."

 
Source is from Lolita Tips : “Oh Maiden, Advance with a Sword and a Rose” by Arika Takarano. Since I'm not into lolita fashion, I only extracted the parts that I can pretty much relate to. 

Climb Up

I will gain back my "muchness" from what I've lost over time. I used to be really clueless when I was 18, I couldn't seem to fit into reality even though I tried to. But I'm glad I'm not a different person since then, because I had finally found myself in Wonderland. :)

"Say, I can see wings on your back- elegant wings, with the luster of velvet. Please keep flying freely, without fear. Even if someone should hurt you, you will end up landing in the right place. I know this well because once upon a time, I was like you, too.”

P.S.: Back in Nuffnang, trying to test out some stuff. :)